Being ambitious is never a sin, and seeking out mentor who have gone ahead of Tiana in the same movie industry should never be accounted for as crossing a line.
Tiana is known for her elegance and skills in acting. After several attempts at different auditions and roles, Tiana never got selected for any film role even though she always excels in her role play. Tiana said she doesn't know what could be the reason for her several rejections. In the first quarter of the year 2005, Tiana voiced out seeking help from friends. The common advice she got was that she should look for a mentor she knew she could listen to and who would be available for her whenever the need arose, someone who would coach her in the career path she had chosen to follow.
Tiana was never a fan of mentorship programs. She was very skeptical about getting a mentor, but what could Tiana do in her situation? "I thought of quitting most times and getting a regular 8-9 hours job like all my friends," she said. She decided to enroll in a film academy instead of seeking a mentor, so she could be sure that she would not be exploited by anyone.
"Am I feigning my ignorance here? I really don't know what I was doing at that time. I have read so many stories of famous actors about what they went through before they could get even the smallest cast in a movie, and I have also read stories of actors who got there on their own without holding anyone's hand."
Wow, I was really enjoying my academy experience for about 3-4 months until the coach was replaced. Coach Philip was really a good man, and at some point, I was hoping to talk to him about becoming his mentee. At the same time, I did not want to compromise my values because of the respect I received from everyone. I tried talking to a friend I met at the academy to know her opinion about Coach Philip; her reply was very short and clear. "Oops, hope you are not thinking of talking to him to be your mentor? He will put you on a red list ASAP," she replied.
I was really curious now, to know what could be the reason. Wait! why would someone put me on a red list simply for asking him to be my mentor? In my mind, I knew something wasn’t right. So, I further asked Tessy, "Did anything happen before I joined?" Tessy replied with a big "NOPE." "Plenty of us here have tried to talk to him about him being our personal mentor aside from the academy’s training. There are so many rules here restricting us from moving faster, skill-wise, but if a few rules can be removed, we will all be fine. We perceived that working with Coach Philip, plus the academy, would put us on top of our careers in less than two years. Who knows, I might even get nominated for an award!"
After listening to Tessy, I was handicapped in my thoughts. A few days later, we received shocking news: Coach Philip had tendered his resignation letter. The reason was unknown to us, and we were informed that in the next few days, a new coach would be joining the academy.
We all buried our heads in disappointment. Personally, it was disastrous news for me, Tiana said, because she was working on her open cast role as a second lead actor in one of the Nevada theater live performances. She never mentioned the year or the performance theme.
The new coach arrived a few days later and introduced himself as Jack. Jack was good, like Philip, but with a difference. Jack agreed to help me train personally, aside from the regular academy sessions. With his support, I got selected for the role at the Nevada theater live performance. Wow, it was the best thing that could ever happen to me at that time. Showcasing my talent on that stage will open many doors for me, I felt it then to the core. The poster was out, everything was in order until a few days before the show when they requested me to bring a letter of approval from my coach. With openness in my mind, I never knew that the letter would be a bridge and a difficult one to cross.
I quickly rushed into the coach's office. As I entered, he was busy and asked me to come back. After an hour, I went back, and he was still busy, so I asked him what time he would be free for me to come. He said, "Drop your contact; I will let you know once I am done here." Eagerly, I wrote down my contact on a plain sheet of paper I found on his desk. It was about 8 PM that same day when I got a call from Jack.
Jack: "Hello. Is this Tiana?"
I replied, "Yes, it’s me." We exchanged pleasantries, and then he asked what the problem was. Calmly, I explained to him that I needed an approval letter from him as requested by the performing director at the Nevada theater in order for me to perform. Jack exhaled, as if it were a big deal for him to write an approval letter for me. "Well, Tiana, I would be more than happy to write the letter for you, but before that, let’s talk about something very important to me. Thank goodness we got this opportunity to talk privately."
Tiana: "Coach Jack, is everything okay?"
Jack: "Hmm, yes, yes, I’m fine. Tiana, do you know that your elegance has captivated my heart? You’re such an incredible and beautiful lady among all your mates here in the academy. Your talents and skills stand out and further enchant me. All that being said, I'm single, have never been married, but hopefully one day I will be. Tiana, to be frank, my heart races whenever I am in direct contact with you. If you don’t mind, I would like to go out with you, even just for a couple of times whenever you are free. After that, if you find me attractive, we can take it to the next level. What do you say?" That was how I realized that the approval letter was a bridge between me and my career Tiana said.
Tiana: "What else could I say, coach? But I would really appreciate it if we can talk about this after my performance."
Jack: "There you go! I knew you would say that. If not for this letter, would there ever be an opportunity for me to share how I feel about you? You might also be thinking that I'm using more of my call credit; nothing is too much for you. It would be cool to get my answer from you tonight or before Thursday noon; it’s up to you, Tiana. Forgive me, I have to go now!"
OMG! I didn’t want to cry right now. Friday night of that same week ought to be the show date, so, latest by Friday morning, I had to turn in my letter or else that would be the end of my career. Do you know the negative impact that would have on my career or my life in general? If I don’t show up to perform on that stage, my picture is all over the city and state. I kept on asking myself how to cross this cracky bridge without falling. It was a devastating night, and early the next morning, it was a dizzying Wednesday. As I woke up, I called the performance director to see if there could be a waiver for me. His reply was even more shocking than Jack's. "If you can go out on a date with me, I could write a waiver letter for you, young lady. I hope you know what this stage could do for you and your career. Anyway, the stage is waiting to have a glimpse of your acting skills! Once you decide, give me a call.” The call ended.
I cried out very loudly as he hung up. What else could I do? Heaven, my situation back then was like standing on a flimsy brick at the edge of a collapsing wall. Fast forward, I was alone in my tumbling world. I put all three options into serious consideration: the performance, Jack, and the director. I was ready to go with Jack and protect my dignity because going out with the director might put me in a serious position later in the future. No information is secure in the film industry; it will surely slip out one day. Let’s even say I get to the top of my career; that little past can bring me down in just a few minutes. That’s why I decided to go out with Jack.
It was already Thursday night, just hours before my prime show. I dressed in my best clothes; I already knew I might get laid after dinner with Jack, so I made up my mind not to think too much.
At the restaurant where we were to have dinner, as soon as I got to the address, from the door to the table where I sat down waiting for Jack, I noticed everyone was staring at me. It was so awkward. Part of me was saying it was my dress; another thought was, "Could it be they saw your poster?" In my mind, I agreed with the poster theory. I don’t know how I managed to wear a fake smile, but I did.
Thirty minutes later, I called Jack to let him know I was at the restaurant. He told me to give him two minutes, saying he would be there soon. Exactly two minutes later, Jack walked in with a few friends. I felt ashamed of myself for what I was about to do just for a mere career. I could have gotten a regular job and lived my life without guilt. At the round table, Jack sat right across from me, and I was just looking at him, not realizing when tears started rolling down my cheeks.
To be continued…
By Mary
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