“We might not invite the life of the party kind of person to party with us, because we want to impress certain people, who don't even fit in into our lifestyle and our kind of situations. Frequently, people tend to forget that if they force themselves into someone else’s shoe, they can't walk in it far too long, before it becomes a thorn under their feet. Perhaps, if it's not strictly by invite, who knows the life of the party might walk in and stir things up”.
When planning a gathering, we often find ourselves in a peculiar position regarding the guest list. There’s a tendency to shy away from inviting the exuberant, "life of the party" type, especially if we're trying to impress certain individuals whose interests and lifestyles differ significantly from our own. The irony lies in our desire to cater to these guests while neglecting the very essence of fun and connection that an engaging personality could bring. We might inadvertently prioritize appearances over authenticity, placing undue importance on impressing people who may not truly align with who we are or our way of life.
In doing so, we forget that human interaction thrives on genuine energy and camaraderie. Often, we create environments that feel stifling and constrained, because we’re holding back those whose exuberance and spontaneity might very well enliven the atmosphere. This brings to light an important realization: when we attempt to step into someone else's shoes—adopting their expectations or desires—we may find it uncomfortable and unsustainable. It’s like trying to walk in shoes that are not fitting; eventually, the pressure will become unbearable, and we risk feeling like a thorn in someone else's garden rather than a vibrant flower adding to the beauty of the occasion.
Moreover, let’s consider the serendipity of uninvited guests. If the "life of the party" were to happen upon our gathering—whether by chance or through an open-door policy—the energy they bring could transform the event entirely. Their ability to stir things up might bring about not just laughter and enjoyment, but also unexpected connections and conversations that could enrich the experience for everyone involved.
Let’s relate this to the kinds of friendships we consider “our type,” as well as those we dislike associating with. Many people often find themselves befriending certain types of individuals who drain their energy and weaken them emotionally, often without even realizing it. Here’s the thing: let me ask you, what type of friends do you have? Are they the ones only interested in your holiday plans, seeking you to be their accomplice when you don’t have any at your own expense? Or the work friend kind of; who focus solely on office talk, constantly setting standards for success and accomplishments that put you under pressure, making you feel like a failure if you can't live up to their expectations?
In general, some people intentionally choose certain friends to belong to a “higher class” of social circles, motivated by the opportunities that may come from being associated with them. While this may seem appealing, it can ultimately jeopardize your mental health, especially if you choose to leave behind your true friends—those who genuinely want to be in your life, share moments with you, and offer honesty without judgment.
True friends celebrate your successes and provide a shoulder to cry on during challenging time. Don’t make friends with those whom you feel you must impress by living above your pay grade. The reason is simple: you may find yourself supporting them in difficult times, but they may never show up for you, even when you need them most. You might feel unable to share your problems with them because you’re living a lie they might uncover. So, tell me, to whom will you pour your heart if the need arises? By being more open and less restrictive with our invitations, we might just discover that sometimes the most memorable moments arise from the unpredictability of a diverse guest list. It could lead to a celebration that not only reflects who we are but also embraces the delightful chaos of life, creating an atmosphere where everyone feels free to express themselves and enjoy the festivities.
By Mary
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